Sunday, March 6, 2011

A Spring's Walk

The warm spring sun draws me outside
Where my heart is my guide
Many pass my way
But not a word they say
For they are busy with their lives
Like bees buzzy around a hive
To busy to stop and enjoy
How spring is being so coy

I walk with only the wind as my friend
My whispered prayers do not offend
The gentle way He speaks to me
Touching my hair like leaves on a tree
He kisses my cheek
As I turn and walk by the creek
It is then I see you there
I cannot help but stare

Your beauty stops me
Your presence fills me with glee
Seeing me standing so near
Might bring you fear
But I mean you no harm
I am stunned by your charm
So I sit with you in the grass
As others pass

You puff up your red chest
Excited for me to be your guest
Singing a little song
So clear and strong
You tell the story of your day
A tune of thanks to God you say
But the day draw late
And I hear the call of your mate

So I stand and we part ways
Looking back I see your gaze
As you sit with your love in a tree
Saying there is hope for me
Hope for love to bloom
And no more gloom
Hope for passion to ignite
In the setting sunlight
As a smile dances on my face
I walk back to my busy pace


I will remember our time
Your song in the Sunshine
The hope you have given me
And How God I see
His love shown to a bird
And the truth I have heard
Through a robin’s song
And the wind whispering along.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

O to be loved.....

Song to listen to
I've been noticing a ton of people, mostly girls, posting things like, if you only knew how i felt about you....or why can't he love me back or i hate all men the one who hurt me or one that i myself almost posted why cannot i not turn your eye,why cannot i not make you smile...why cannot i not be who you want.....
I'm guilty of this... obviously XDD
but i was stopped...why do we look for our worth in the eyes of others? no just men but we as humanity look for acceptance and justification for living in the eyes of so many others....
but we are already justified!!!
We already have worth!!!!
We already have acceptance!!!
in Christ alone we are made complete!!!!!!!!!

it's about pressuring God passionately, but ti's more than just chasing an "invisible" God...
it's letting go and letting God....
it's before you do anything you ask and trust God...
it's moving when he says to move, it's speaking only what he has spoken,
it's acting only as He acted,
it's trusting in him COMPLETELY and letting go of all the fears and failures and trusting that God's got this...
ask him to protect your heart, to guard it...
because he will...
he will restore you!!!
And Love i'm not judging anyone  or anything i live where they are at!!
but ti's making a choice each morning to give God the first of ur day, spending time with him, listening to him, reading his love letter to you and growing closer together like any relationship it will take time and commitment but IT IS WORTH IT!

To live like this....To life with this understand and truth in our lives...wow!
We would be changed forever :DD this world would be changed forever!!!
I strive to live my life like this!!!


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

My God, MY LOVE!!! ღ ღ ღ

BTWS this is the song playing this evening that God has set a blaze in my heart ღ ღ ღ

O wow!!! God has been moving and working in ways I cannot express and i feel like I'm not meant to, And that's OK!!!Words cannot even try and express where my heart is right now!! And I can never go back to where I was!!!!
its like I was in this dark awful care all my life, and finally i've allowed God to lead me to the Son **sun** and I cannot nor could i EVER go back  into that cave!!! ti's much to glorious here!!!!!! 

God is so much bigger then any person or any school or any hopes or dreams! 
He is so much more intimate and passionate then we will ever dream or experience!!
In chapel God broke my heart for the lost and restored my calling.
He always affirmed what I mean to him in a way that my heart finally heard.
Then I went with a few friends in Weatherby *our chapel on campus* and cried out to God for about two hours.
We declared God's glory and who He is and cried out for our campus and our friends and our own hearts!
Then we went to lunch and fellow-shipped and grew closer to each other.
***I had deiced that i did not need to fast anymore, i had and still have a peace about this but I will still be praying and spending time with God and would still love your prayers for MNU and myself****
Then I went to Karate and was able to worship God through my classes and i came back and rested a bit before Kingdom Come this evening!!! **Kingdom Come is a student led worship service where we come and pour out our lives before God**

Tonight was amazing and not just because of the hearts of those leading worship or those serving communion or just the amazing people there, but it was because the Holy Spirit was moving and actively, no JEALOUSLY Pursuing each and every person there tonight!! AAAAAANNNNNDDDD Because people were listening and responding!!! God is freeing people from addictions and chains and everything that has held people back!! 

For me in my life!!!! God has freed me from something that has held me back for So long! this need to be needed or this need to be loved. I've been always searching for someone to complete me in the way that i think that i should be completed and it's been wrong I would find an amazing guy and lean on them expecting them to complete me and it was not of God it was not what it should've been**if you are one of those guys who i've done this to I am sorry!!**
But God has freed me from that!!!! not the need for love because that is the very essence of my being...to love and to be loved, but he has helped me to realize that i already have that love!!!!!!!! GOD is that love and he's been standing right next to me the entire time!! ^0^ Now is this to say that i believe i will be single for the rest of my life...to be honest, I don't know and right now i don't care XDDD I mean I would love love love to have a husband someday but He cannot and will not complete me and he will never be my God for my God is irreplaceable!!!!! Though the snow storm is ragging outside My heart my life my mind, MY SOUL are at peace and such unexplainable contentment ღ

it's crazy God has done more in the past three days then He has in the past 22 years!! And sadly it's because i've tried to hold the control, but NO LONGER!!! Give God three days of true surrender and see what will happen! I challenge you! God is big enough for your "what if's" He is strong enough for your doubt He is loving enough and passionate enough for you that he will AND HAS concord you sadness and hurts!! God is bigger and has more passion for us then we could EVER imagine!!!!!

God's Words to my heart

this is the song that was playing through my head it's beautiful

I had cried out to God, asking what love is and what it looks like and this was what the response i was given 

I am Love!
love is when I call the sun to shine down on you,
when I open flowers before you,
when someone stops and hugs you when you are about ready to fall apart.
Megan I am Love!
Love is wheat causes your heart to quicken and an unexplainable smile to cross your face as a bird flutters by.
I am Love!
Love is when tears trace hard lines down your cheeks and words escape you.
love is when I call to you and chase you time and time again and pick you  up after you have fallen again.
it is when I brush you off declaring you beautiful though the mallet and nails still rests in your hards.
Megan I am Love!
love is me chasing you when you walk down a path which will hurt...
love is when I protect you from falling too far...
love is when you realize what you've done and that I have seen it all and
    I am still here at your side with my arms wide open...
I am Love!
Love is me taking you back,
holding you close,
repairing your heart.
love is me accepting you and loving you for who are right now in this very moment but wanting more...
love is me not leaving you in your sin and sadness and despair but drawing you out
love is my jealous pursuit!
love is me distroying anything and everything that draws you away from me
love is me taking all the bad that you've gotten in and
     clearing the sand castle you have built which you lean on and drawing you back to me.
Megan I am Love!!
 I am more.
I am enough.
I know  you do not understand but allow me to change you.
Allow me to love you.
Allow me to be who I am with you. Take down your walls and allow me to loveyou. 

Sunday, December 12, 2010

My Ghost

I wrote this poem in march again from a dream Yay DREAMS <3 :)

My Ghost
you are haunting me...
following my every step, my every thought
not allowing my mind, my eyes, nothing to wander
when I move, you follow
you are like my shadow
connected to my very soul
that one moment
the one that I cannot escape

it plays over and over in my mind
like the rhythm of my steps
right, left, right left
each moment, over and over



and yet I embrace my captivity
that vision of spender
that moment wrapped up in the delicious darkness
when only the moon and stars watched over us
that moment when you held me


when I felt your heart beating through your chest
somehow it moved in time with mine
your sweet scent that rolls off your skin
it is still warm in my nose
the moment our lips finally touched
how your gruff still prickles my face
how I could not help myself

tracing the hard line of your jaw with gentle fingers
silently intertwining them in your dark hair at the nape of your neck
you pulled away slightly after too short of a moment

and let out a grin that is forever etched into my mind
and then....
you were gone...

our moment destroyed by reality
for the knock came on my door and my eyes opened
the very edges of the dream disappeared
like sand on the edge of the beach...
reluctantly I must get up and answer reality's call
but I will be back to see you soon my dear
back in our world
where you and I can be together
and nothing else matters

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I Love you....

love you. I always have, I always will 
I know that we are so far apart and there is no reason in it at all but I love you. 
I want to be with you more than taking 
my next breathes, 
more than being able to listen to the birds sing I want to hear your voice call my name.
I need to feel your arms holding never letting go.
Not just in my dear but in my living of this day. 
I need to see your face light up when you see me, I need you to love me. 
But I cannot tell you not here. Not in this place. 
so I nod and smile and chat about the things of life as the days pass by, 
all the time I'm hoping, 
praying that you will love me.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

My Strengths :D

INCLUDER
“Stretch the circle wider.” This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others. You want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from its support. You hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so that they can feel the warmth of the group. You are an instinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgments. Judgments can hurt a person’s feelings. Why do that if you don’t have to? Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on a belief that each of us is different and that one should respect these differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. We are all equally important. Thus, no one should be ignored. Each of us should be included. It is the least we all deserve.
POSITIVITY
You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won’t allow it. Somehow you can’t quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one’s sense of humor.
DEVELOPER
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth—a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of “flow” where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments—invisible to some—are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.
ACTIVATOR
“When can we start?” This is a recurring question in your life. You are impatient for action. You may concede that analysis has its uses or that debate and discussion can occasionally yield some valuable insights, but deep down you know that only action is real. Only action can make things happen. Only action leads to performance. Once a decision is made, you cannot not act. Others may worry that “there are still some things we don’t know,” but this doesn’t seem to slow you. If the decision has been made to go across town, you know that the fastest way to get there is to go stoplight to stoplight. You are not going to sit around waiting until all the lights have turned green. Besides, in your view, action and thinking are not opposites. In fact, guided by your Activator theme, you believe that action is the best device for learning. You make a decision, you take action, you look at the result, and you learn. This learning informs your next action and your next. How can you grow if you have nothing to react to? Well, you believe you can’t. You must put yourself out there. You must take the next step. It is the only way to keep your thinking fresh and informed. The bottom line is this: You know you will be judged not by what you say, not by what you think, but by what you get done. This does not frighten you. It pleases you.
CONNECTEDNESS
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.