The Battle Has Begun

I've come to realize something so key to my life and I would dare to say to yours as well....

......Your HEART is what all this war is about......

*to all those out there of couse it's not ur physical pumping blood squishy heart but ur emotional heart :P smarty*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srdqcVXwdCE&feature=related

what war you may ask....

well think about it....

....How many of us are searching for "the one"?

....How many of us have felt so alone that we turn to

.......drugs?

.......drinking?

..........sex?

............giving out hearts away without even the person knowing it?

How many of us are ready to give up?

beacause of.....

...too much work?

...pressure from others?

...the words you are not enough?

...the words you are not worthy?

How many of us would truly admit that we've considered once.....

...susicide? 

...an escape?

...running away?

Where is the core of all of this? well it IS OUR HEARTS!! lol

What drives us to love or hate?

What inspires us? depresses us? 

What is the one thing that could change a decision?

.... your heart

What has GOD called us to guard?

....."Above all else, guard your HEART, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

Why would we need to guard it if someone was not trying to steal it or KILL it? 

It is pointless to guard an empty bank....

.....but one that has Bill Gate's money in it is guarded by the best people 24/7 with guns who mean business...

Why? 

beacause what is in side is worth DYING for!! 

it is the same with YOU and YOUR HEART!! 

You maybe saying well that sounds all fine and dandy but you don't get it I'm _(insert age)_ and I'm still single...everyon i've ever dated has chewed me up and spit me out. or i've been through so much that no one even knows about...or you don't understand my pain.....

well...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! i'm 23 and Still deeply wishing and praying for my one ... I KNOW he's out there...somewhere but only GOD knows where right now and that's fine. I've been chewed up and thrown to the side of the road by guys I HAVEN'T even dated. ontop of that I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused all of my life. I understand the pain. I used to give in to the pain. but you know what? I've walked the line between the darkness and light ive seen true evil, i've experienced hopelessness too...YOU ARE NOT ALONE....and on top of ALLL of that....you are STRONG!!!!

  "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!"-Philippians 4:13

isn't GOD the strongest ever?! isn't He the one who HOLDS the universe in motion and all that jazz? if He's sharing the power then what is stronger then that? What should we be afraid of??? NOTHING!! let me tell you i was afraid of the darkness all my life...like I said i had expereinced it in a very real way and i had gathered some not so nice things and I was terrified....those two mins before i fell asleep were the worst because I always felt like i was not alone but you know what? GOD has concured death CHRIST has DEFEATED the evil and the darkness and FEAR!! and by the grace of GOD I am not afraid!!! :D 

the darkness, it cannot stand the light. It cannot be in it's presence. but know this if you are really striving for God's will and His heart then you will be under attack and we must stand our ground...or be trampled. but God has given us Armor!! REALLY!!! lol Eph. 6:10-18 and i'm not going to post it because i want YOU to look it up ^-^ lol but God has given us arrmor and a SWORD but if we do not know our sword if we do not pratice with it and sharpen it how will we know how to use it when the time comes....we wont

so I challenge you. STAND YOUR GROUND. first protect ur heart from the world it will try and draw you away with sweet talk but all it is is empty promises. Second do not fear!! you are with God and on His side and here's a SPOILER ALERT. God wins in the end :D and third put on your armor by that i mean know your armor. only ware it if you chose to show it in your life. and Finally KNOW YOUR SWORD USE YOUR SWORD. 

Who you are and what you are called to do is so much more then i believe any of you realize. and how do i know that who is reading this is called to anything at all? I belive that God has called each of us and i believe unless we are living in the heart of our LORD we can and are called to be more  IN HIM :D

ok I'll stop talking now lol i love you guys! don't give up. you are not alone

Thoughts....i guess

You know what I've been realizing so much lately? GOD is constantly reaching for us. And I know that that sounds so clique and the "Jesus" answer but it's true. 


You know when you are about to give up and you get that one hug, or those words of encouragement? Have you ever stop to think that maybe it's been GOD teaching out to you in a more physical way? 


Sometimes we hear the voice of GOD so clearly but then again sometimes we need people. i believe that that is why GOD has given us each other. we NEED each other. we need to hear what each of us are going through, but not only to hear about it but to go through it together. We were not designed to have to deal with so much all alone. GOD has created in us the need for each other and the passion to live as such. we are designed within our entire being to be with each other and we do so much better together!! 


And I totally believe that GOD places people in your life for a reason! there are those out there that when they enter your life they are there for only a short time and yet their touch ripples out and completely changes who you are!! They may pop into your life occasionally or just be in to for a short amount of time but either way their presence in your life has changed who you are.....

So here's your choice who will you be? will you be a person that people can turn to when they are so out of hope, someone that when the river of life rages on so fast, people can kling to and you can point them toward Christ. I challenge you to do so. Stop and listen for GOD's voice and then follow after whatever he maybe calling you to do, no matter what it may be, no matter what He may say, do it because it will be one of the most amazing things that you will have ever been blessed to do.

Ok GOD i'm listening....

Have you ever been almost asleep then a thought consumes ur mind and you must do something about ti but then the next thing u know...you are doing like 5 things...yeah welcome to my life like 20 mins ago.... 

so i was in bed about to pass out and i was just getting dark images in my mind for some reason so i prayed and decied to put some music on...tired though my cell because ipod is missing :P no luck so I looked at the ring tones i have and i decied that i wanted to listen to Million Voices by Barlow Girl *see link --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwzQFeKoG3E * and I was challenged to write this...i'm not sure as of right this moment what it will turn out to be but hear me out...if it's a waste of ur time...well haha ur on fb I blame that :P here goes

I love this song. i feel like it is the anthem of my generation and the ones right around me. We are the ones sick of all the bull and standing up for things that have long since been ignored. and this is wonderful!!! i love the passion i see in your eyes. it's invigorating and contagious! We stand for the trees, we stand for the panda, we stand for saving the polar ice caps but do we stand for our faith??? i've noticed we will rally, riot, and camp out for weeks to stop the deforestation, which is NEEDED, but what to do we do to speak out against that which is killing our faith???

there is a deadly disease attacking each and everyone of us, sin. and I'm not just going to say well we all need to stop cussing and drinking and whatever else and then the world will be all happy rainbow and unicorns. that's bull. but sin is KILLING us!! LITERALLY!!! do u realize it!? Sin is eating away at ur soul. each moment we spend doing nothing slothing  on the couch, each engorging potato chip, each sensual image, each salty sweet lie that caresses our lips, it ca roads our souls a bit more. so when is the end?! 

there are millions of ppl around us slowly being eaten away at by this acidic poison and they don't even realize it. or they DO realize it and try to stop it but only end up adding more acid onto their already open wounds. we see the hopelessness. we see the sorrow that goes beyond words. we see the death, and still we sit in secret with our bibles huddled in the corners not moving to offer a safety rope or a hand to pull each other away form the edge.

I have already seen so much and so many amazingly good things come out of this generation! i have seen peace and color-blindness, i have seen injustices be stopped, i have seen starving children fed. YOU are powerful! I am powerful! together with GOD WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE!!!! Do you see that?*AND THIS IS NOT JUST FOR THE YOUNGER GENERATIONS* we need to unify. we need wisdom. we need direction. we need passion and liveliness. 

2 Chronicles 7:14

 "if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

an idea starts out small and fragile but if whispered upon the wind, if it catches the hint of passion it will ignight within the hearts of some, form there it will become a blazing fire that burns inside us!!! it's like a little ripple, it starts out wiht a drop, but before u know it it is shoving water up on the shore line!! Do not limit yourselves!!! Christ has empowered us and commissioned  us to bigger and better things then we realize even yet!! 

Matthew 28:18-19

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

*IS CHRIST CALLING YOU TO SOMETHING MORE? HOW WILL YOU ANSWER???*

What Do you see?

What do you see when you look into my eyes? What do you see when you at the people we pass by daily? Those who you rub shoulders with? those who you open doors for and smile blankly back to? those who keep their head down as they walk, headphones in and tears on the edge their eyes? Why do we have empty words that flow out of fake masks we ware? what will it take to stop and look? 

I've been reading in the gospels lately and there is one really amazing thing i've seen in Jesus *yes there are tons more but this is what God has been showing me lately* that you know Jesus did all these amazing miracles and raised people from the dead, healed the sick, and opened the eyes of the blind and yeah sure these are amazing AMAZING things and they are truly miracles but I don't think that the miracles started with Jesus saying be healed or your faith has healed you or with Him spitting in the mud or whatever....I think that the real miracles started way before Jesus even said a word. Jesus saw people that everyone else only looked at...Jesus saw them for who they were right where they were at...in that moment they were at...He say their hurt and the healing they needed but He saw more then that....He saw their worth, He saw how incredibly valuable they were in that very moment in their hurts and in their darkest moments. He saw them and accepted them, THERE WAS ALWAYS A PLACE FOR EVERYONE!! no matter where they came from or what they had done Jesus ALWAYS had a seat at the table for them.....

Jesus saw people that everyone else only looked at. think about it....how many times did the priest pass by the lame beggar? how many times did those everyday kinda joes act like they did not see the blind men at the city gate? how many times did those women walk as far as they could from that woman who was bleeding for years upon end? how many times have we just shrugged off a friend saying that they need to talk or that they are fine when really we can see the agony in their eyes? How many times have we just walked on by when we know someone would love just five mins of our time or a hug....and yet we hurry to class or on with our day?

Ok now please do not feel like I'm judging anyone!!! I know like is crazy and insane an there is so much going on in our lives that we can barely keep up...I am  right there with you!! and those people had ligament reason backed by the Law that they did not do anything...we have ligament reasons too right? too busy...too stressed...too much on our plates....too much you yourself are dealing with...Too......whatever....but the thing is we do not know...we do not know how much that smile or that hug can affect someone's life....how much being real will help someone....how much taking five mins will effect someone's heart.....do we know how much stopping for five mins could change someones live or drastically affect our own?

Now Yes Jesus is JESUS...the SON OF GOD!! There has never and there will never be anyone like Him! He is the Alpha the Omega the Beginning and the End!! Jesus is God and God is so good!!! God is love, He is hope and faith and light and LIFE!! That love, that hope, that faith, that light, that LIFE is the very breath to our suffocating souls!!! With out it we die.... Jesus is everything but He has called us to be more...what Jesus did He has called us to also do, He has called us to also walk that path, to see those people, and He would not call us to something that we could not accomplish...We are infused with the Holy Spirit if we call ourselves Christians but what does that even mean any more?! to act "good" whenever anyone is looking and to do whatever you want when noone or the pastor isn't around? what's the point of all this if you're not going to let this change you? WE ARE CALLED TO BE MORE!!!!! Will you answer that call?! 

I've seen the church at it's finest and at it's worst, but the truth is WE are the church not some building or something else , we YOU AND ME are the church, we are Christ to the dark world around us!!!! We are the future of what is and what could be... I am so sick and tired of seeing the world die... JESUS HAS ALREADY CONCORD DEATH SO WHY ARE WE JUST SITTING HERE and allowing it to zap our joy or our zeal?! this is what's been on my heart and PLEASE PLEASE do not feel like i'm judging anyone or anything....maybe God is convicting you..idk this is just on my heart....this is what God has convicted me about....

So What do you see? Who do you see? Will you take the time to stop and see the people around your? will you take the time to talk to the friend who says that they are just fine? will you give someone five mins when that could save their life? so what do you See??

A Spring's Walk

The warm spring sun draws me outside
Where my heart is my guide
Many pass my way
But not a word they say
For they are busy with their lives
Like bees buzzy around a hive
To busy to stop and enjoy
How spring is being so coy

I walk with only the wind as my friend
My whispered prayers do not offend
The gentle way He speaks to me
Touching my hair like leaves on a tree
He kisses my cheek
As I turn and walk by the creek
It is then I see you there
I cannot help but stare

Your beauty stops me
Your presence fills me with glee
Seeing me standing so near
Might bring you fear
But I mean you no harm
I am stunned by your charm
So I sit with you in the grass
As others pass

You puff up your red chest
Excited for me to be your guest
Singing a little song
So clear and strong
You tell the story of your day
A tune of thanks to God you say
But the day draw late
And I hear the call of your mate

So I stand and we part ways
Looking back I see your gaze
As you sit with your love in a tree
Saying there is hope for me
Hope for love to bloom
And no more gloom
Hope for passion to ignite
In the setting sunlight
As a smile dances on my face
I walk back to my busy pace


I will remember our time

Your song in the Sunshine
The hope you have given me
And How God I see
His love shown to a bird
And the truth I have heard
Through a robin’s song
And the wind whispering along.

O to be loved.....

Song to listen to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POXFoTbT2Io

I've been noticing a ton of people, mostly girls, posting things like, if you only knew how i felt about you....or why can't he love me back or i hate all men the one who hurt me or one that i myself almost posted why cannot i not turn your eye,why cannot i not make you smile...why cannot i not be who you want.....

I'm guilty of this... obviously XDD

but i was stopped...why do we look for our worth in the eyes of others? no just men but we as humanity look for acceptance and justification for living in the eyes of so many others....

but we are already justified!!!

We already have worth!!!!

We already have acceptance!!!

in Christ alone we are made complete!!!!!!!!!

it's about pressuring God passionately, but ti's more than just chasing an "invisible" God...

it's letting go and letting God....

it's before you do anything you ask and trust God...

it's moving when he says to move, it's speaking only what he has spoken,

it's acting only as He acted,

it's trusting in him COMPLETELY and letting go of all the fears and failures and trusting that God's got this...

ask him to protect your heart, to guard it...

because he will...

he will restore you!!!

And Love i'm not judging anyone  or anything i live where they are at!!

but ti's making a choice each morning to give God the first of ur day, spending time with him, listening to him, reading his love letter to you and growing closer together like any relationship it will take time and commitment but IT IS WORTH IT!

To live like this....To life with this understand and truth in our lives...wow!

We would be changed forever :DD this world would be changed forever!!!

I strive to live my life like this!!!

My God, MY LOVE!!! ღ ღ ღ

BTWS this is the song playing this evening that God has set a blaze in my heart ღ ღ ღ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3tz0P5ERYM

O wow!!! God has been moving and working in ways I cannot express and i feel like I'm not meant to, And that's OK!!!Words cannot even try and express where my heart is right now!! And I can never go back to where I was!!!!

its like I was in this dark awful care all my life, and finally i've allowed God to lead me to the Son **sun** and I cannot nor could i EVER go back  into that cave!!! ti's much to glorious here!!!!!! 

God is so much bigger then any person or any school or any hopes or dreams! 

He is so much more intimate and passionate then we will ever dream or experience!!

In chapel God broke my heart for the lost and restored my calling.

He always affirmed what I mean to him in a way that my heart finally heard.

Then I went with a few friends in Weatherby *our chapel on campus* and cried out to God for about two hours.

We declared God's glory and who He is and cried out for our campus and our friends and our own hearts!

Then we went to lunch and fellow-shipped and grew closer to each other.

***I had deiced that i did not need to fast anymore, i had and still have a peace about this but I will still be praying and spending time with God and would still love your prayers for MNU and myself****

Then I went to Karate and was able to worship God through my classes and i came back and rested a bit before Kingdom Come this evening!!! **Kingdom Come is a student led worship service where we come and pour out our lives before God**

Tonight was amazing and not just because of the hearts of those leading worship or those serving communion or just the amazing people there, but it was because the Holy Spirit was moving and actively, no JEALOUSLY Pursuing each and every person there tonight!! AAAAAANNNNNDDDD Because people were listening and responding!!! God is freeing people from addictions and chains and everything that has held people back!! 

For me in my life!!!! God has freed me from something that has held me back for So long! this need to be needed or this need to be loved. I've been always searching for someone to complete me in the way that i think that i should be completed and it's been wrong I would find an amazing guy and lean on them expecting them to complete me and it was not of God it was not what it should've been**if you are one of those guys who i've done this to I am sorry!!**

But God has freed me from that!!!! not the need for love because that is the very essence of my being...to love and to be loved, but he has helped me to realize that i already have that love!!!!!!!! GOD is that love and he's been standing right next to me the entire time!! ^0^ Now is this to say that i believe i will be single for the rest of my life...to be honest, I don't know and right now i don't care XDDD I mean I would love love love to have a husband someday but He cannot and will not complete me and he will never be my God for my God is irreplaceable!!!!! Though the snow storm is ragging outside My heart my life my mind, MY SOUL are at peace and such unexplainable contentment ღ

it's crazy God has done more in the past three days then He has in the past 22 years!! And sadly it's because i've tried to hold the control, but NO LONGER!!! Give God three days of true surrender and see what will happen! I challenge you! God is big enough for your "what if's" He is strong enough for your doubt He is loving enough and passionate enough for you that he will AND HAS concord you sadness and hurts!! God is bigger and has more passion for us then we could EVER imagine!!!!!