Living an Intentional Life starts now.

Hello Everyone!!
I hope and I pray that God has been blessing you and Challenging you *Yes!! Challenging you, for is only when we are challenged that we have the chance to grow. So I hope and pray that God has been challenging you and stretching you in so many ways that may not be comfortable.

I am doing well, so great!! I am so incredibly blessed and I am joyful! I am eager to talk to you guys because honestly my life has changed! All my life I have accepted that I will always struggle with sinning, that I will always be overweight, that I will always struggle with pleasing people, that I would always be single, that I will always struggle with my relationship with God…and why God wouldn’t come and take control over these things…but in reality I was wanting to sit back and let God come and do everything.

God is an amazing God. He is compassionate, merciful, loving, powerful, just and simply amazing!!! God will come the 99% and wait for you to come the 1% to Him. He is waiting at your side for you to come and fully surrender to who He is and what He wants to do for your life. You see I’ve realized Satan doesn’t mind if we are just doing nothing. He doesn’t mind if we sit back reading our bibles and crying together and then go about doing the same thing everyday. He would love if we are just going to act like and call ourselves Christian but not do anything about it. We are warned about this in James. James 1:22 “But don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” And it hit me, we have to be intentional.

We have to choose to have a relationship with God. We can say we are dating so and so but unless we go actively on dates with the person and get to know the person all it is is words. Our lives need to have intention. All my life I’ve been sitting back waiting for God to change my life so that it’s easy and therefore I am content but what good does that do? It creates fat, lazy, bottle fed ‘Christians’ who claim to be changing the world but are doing little more then sitting and watching it go by. Is this the life God has for us?! NO!! Of course not. God has said that He wants us to have a life and to live it to the fullest!! Living on the couch of life watching ‘life’ pass us by as our friends are on a conveyer belt to hell is NOT living the life we are called to or to the fullest. This creates people who don’t know what they believe or why they believe it. It creates apathetic people who are joining others on that conveyer belt who claim to be Christian but have nothing to show for it. People who say they are living the life but in reality they are on the same conveyer belt as those perishing

So how do we change? We’ve been this way all our lives, but how do we change? We choose to be intentional. We choose to stop accepting the complacent lies that Satan has given us. We CHOOSE TO BE MORE! We choose to not only change a little of our lives but every moment of our lives!! So how have I changed? I’ve become intentional about my relationship with God. I am doing devos every morning and waking up earlier each day to be sure I will have more time for God. I am choosing even in the first moments of my day to honor God with all that I am. *don’t get me wrong I am still messing up but I don’t let Satan get me down and I don’t let my sin take me away from God. I restore my life to Him and strive to be more, SERIOUSLY strive to become more!* I am following God’s leading in my life where it comes as far as a church spilt and going to the place that is NOT the easiest but is the perfect place for me. I am taking my life captive and trying to honor God through following the command to become a leader in that church and I am going to lead a book study for the Koreans/English service people starting Saturday. I have taken control of my life and I have joined a gym and I am going to no longer be this unhealthy again. I am going to be a woman who is healthy and honors God even through my eating habits and taking care of the beautiful temple God has given me. I have fully given God my love. This has been the hardest thing for me because I treasure my love the most. I have been praying for my husband since I was 12 years old and I have been dreaming about it since before then. But I am at the point that I have given it to God. If I am single for the rest of my life I will be filled with God and passionately follow after him. If I get married this next year, I will still be filled and passionately follow God. But if I am single, I can do more of a ministry for God and isn’t that for the best? Now am I hoping and praying still that I get married? Yes, but it no longer holds be chained to a ring as it had before.

I want you to think about this. If you do nothing, if you choose to not change anything in your life, then don't expect your life to be any difference then what it is now for your future. IF you never change your thinking, change your heart, change your words which change your life, then your life will always be the way it is now. Are you happy about it now? Are there things that need to change? Would just transforming your thinking and spending 30 mins each day FOR ONE MONTH with God change everything about you? Not unless you are intentional about it. Change yourself for the better now to transform your future later!!

How did this come about? God challenged me by asking if I thought that who I once was, was who I will always be. He asked me if I would be happy living the life I am or have now for the rest of the time? And that’s what I ask you. Have you accepted the lie from Satan that you are bound by the life you once and always have lived and always will have to live? That is a HUGE lie!!!
YOU ARE FREE! Now CHOOSE to live in that freedom!!
2 Corinthians 3:17
¹⁷ Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
Galatians 5:1
¹ It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Colossians 1:21-23
²¹ Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. ²² But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation- ²³ if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.
1 Peter 2:16
¹⁶ Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God's slaves.

I love you and I’m praying for you!! Please let me know how I can pray for you more!! I challenge you to get alone with God and Change your life! Ask him to show you how you need to change your life!! HE WILL Show you and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

So two paths lay before you....which will you choose?

April Showers Bring May Flowers

Hey everyone,
I hope that you are all doing well! I am sorry it's been so very long *though it seams like i always apologize to you all* but here goes a long needed blog post.

ok to start off...let's talk about the elephant in the room
I AM SAFE. haha South Korea is a very wonderful and safe place. North Korea is still huffing and puffing about doing this or that but I do not believe that they are going to be doing anything as far as an attack on South Korea or the USA. That being said, I do have a few back up plans :) I have a bag ready to go at a moment's notice. I am registered with the US Embassy and get emails/texts/phone calls when needed. Also If something were to happen, if North Korea were to be crazy and try and attack South Korea or the States, and I were not able to get to the US Embassy because the Embassy was over run or closed or what not, I would try to seek refuge in another embassy. If that was not able to be done *My Aunt YV is here and her hubby is retired military* So the next option would be to go to a military base *one is 30 mins away* and seek refuge there. IF i could not do that then i would work to get out with through my Korean friends and stay safe. Again I do not think that anything big is going to happen but it's always good to have a back up plan.

School is going great. I love my little kids. I made a break through with one of my kinders. He is the youngest of my youngest class and was one of the two who looked like they were going to cry the first time I went to class. well i've been saying hi to him and trying to get him to smile even just once but he wouldnt he would just look and stare at me. But Yesterday when I was hidding clues for a game he came up to me with a huge smile and waved at me and HUGGED me!! Success!!! Then my Aunt came and went to my school  and watched me teach them. One of my girls *a kinder* went right up to my aunt and introduced herself to her in English!! Again Success!! I've been doing well and trying to be whom God is wanting me to be :D

I could use prayers about school always and that God would change and encourage my heart for Him and for people all around me. I need to be focused and looking for opportunities to be God's hands and feet. ok It's like 11pm and since i'm an old woman.....I'm exhausted. I love you all and I hope you all are doing well :) feel free to leave me a comment and I'll answer questions in my next blog <3 p="">

 

Me and a few of My kids 2nd Grade

 6th and 5th

 4th 5th 6th

 recess

 This is Sally. She's my girl <3 br="">

English service at Galilee

The Eyes of Love

Sunday Morning God woke me up about 5am. I welcomed the early morning. You see He let me escape a pretty weird dream about aliens and people trying to kill me. still 5am is pretty early but I am blessed to have been able to wake in a warm safe home where as so many do not have that; or they did not wake at all.

 Anyway, I thought about going back to sleep but decided that it was not a good idea. I had this urging to pray. so I did then I got on facebook and began to pray for those on facebook. then I got distracted ha. But still I ran across this video someone posed of Oprah speaking to her audience with a pastor. She was talking about how no matter the circumstances, our gene, what has taken place that was out out of our control,or anything else; it is the way we choose to act and how we choose to live that matters and changes everything in the end no mater what hand we've been delt. Nick Vujicic was a very short guest and well I've been `stumbling` up on any of his videos at work. He said what he's said many times before that no matter what you've been through, no matter what's been done to you or what you've chosen to do, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. . .YOU ARE A TREASURE. . .YOU ARE WORTHY! 

I began to weep. its not that I haven't heard this before, I've heard it many time often when I know that people are trying to help and be encouraging but its been veeeeery hard for be to believe. So why did this one time click? What made this special? well unknown to anyone about 6 months ago I was given pills from a doctor here in Korea that would last two weeks.these pills would take away my apatite completely. they were meant to help me loose weight. I was determined to take them starting tomorrow for two weeks.  I had tries them once and they causes a ton of pain and I stopped taking them after one day.But I needed to take them. I am not beautiful and this is something I've struggled with countless times. I've hated myself to the point of literally pushing myself into starvation or causing myself to throw up. All for vanity. All in the hopes that I would be loved or love myself more. but this is a lie. if I were  size 8 or 38 neither would make me love myself anymore.they are just reason to not deal with the real issues of self hatred, the real issue of not accepting GOD`s words as truth. not accepting GOD`s love for me. Not knowing what love really is. I realized...

I don't know what love is.

Don't get me wrong I have been deeply loved by so many and I do love so many. I would give my life for a great number of people. . . .partly because I have accepted for such a long time that their lives are more valuable then my own but also because I do not want to live in a world without them in it. EVENTUALLY would we all be OK of course we would be able to move on but we cannot ever be the same once we've lost someone we deeply love. No what I mean is I don't understand God`s love I dont understand His heart or understanding his forgiveness His Amazing grace. I don't understand it and maybe that's partly because I don't see him so many times its hard for me to believe more then the wallpaper hears my prayers but deep inside I know He is REAL. I know He cares. I KNOW He loves me.

How? hasn't there been bad things that have happened in my life? Shouldn't I be angry? Hurt? something? Yes. I have experienced more then most and less then others. did I hate GOD for allow the abuse? Yes. Do I still struggle with anger with Him for it? Sometimes. Did I hate GOD for taking my mom from me ? Yes. I still struggle but she was never mine to have really. Shouldn't GOD hate me for things that I have done? yes but he doesn't. He loves me. Somehow I know he's forgiven the horrible things I've done to Him and to others. Somehow I feel his great eyes of love looking down own me with a beautiful smile on his face.
 

See I've realized it all goes back to what Nick was saying. . .it all comes down to my choice. am I going to be angry and hurt and hurtful toward the world for all the wrong that has been done to me? I could but what good would that serve? would I be any happier for it? no Id be more hurt. What about taking those `diet` pills. . .would I love myself anymore if I did? perhaps but unlikely. I might be happy for a little but ultimately hate myself again. I once hated myself so much I tried hurting my body and I've paid both health and emotionally for it. why would I jump back into a put of more hurt and anger with myself under lies of starving myself? So I got up and dumped all those pills down the toilet. because you know what,

THERE'S NO POINT!

its like for the first time in a while that I can truly say I feel like  I AM FREE!!
Nothing is holding me back. yes I still have issues but I choose this moment to see myself as Christ sees me and to hold my head high. I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am treasured!

So are you! you are beautiful despite of any lie satan may whisper to you. You are worthy and made whole in this moment despite what you may have done or had done to you. YOU ARE A TREASURE! Now what will you choose? will you choose to hold your head and believe these words of Truth or will you believe satans lies? "Beauty is in the Eye of the behold" The only eyes I'm worried about being beautiful for are the eyes of my Creator. Who's do you worry about?

Its time to choose.

Here's the Link to the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPW3EB5U0bo&sns=fb

Once Upon A Snowy Winter's Eve

Good Evening to you wonderful people!! How are you?? I'm sorry It's been so long *I feel like i', always opening with that haha but life gets crazy!*

Life has been crazy but God has been as wonderful as always. My contract was renewed and so I will still be teaching at Jungang Elementary this coming year. I am so very excited about it. I know that this has been a harder time then I had realized it would be but I am incredibly blessed. I have grown so very much. It's crazy to realize that I used to think that i would job hop for the rest of my life. God has so changed the way I think and how I look at life. I've realized that the true purpous my real job is minister  to be the hands and feet of Christ. ha I mean I knew that. But now I'm living it.

I've been volunteering tons and i love it. I've been volunteering at an animal shelter as well as at my church. i've been apart of a the college age ministering. I'm teaching two of them English on the side and another girl i've just met also. I've been able to use English as a ministry.  I just found out about a ministry where you can help teach English to North Korean defectors on the wedding. I'm VERY excited about that and I'm hoping to begin that again here soon. I am also ministering to the children at school. More and more i've been getting hugs and many of them are coming up to me and connecting with me. I'm so blessed :) Also i'm wriring more and more. i've finished my prolog and the the first chapter of my book.

Tonight I was able to share my testimony again. This makes the third time i've been able to share my testimony publicly. I shared it at my church and I love it. Tonight i was incredibly worried because this church that i've settled at and is my home church here, it is wonderful. it feels like home. I was worried because my life hasnt been the best as many of you know. It has been hard. It has been sad at times but God has held it. Each time I've shared it, the message is slightly different and I believe that that is because of who God has listening. Tonight the verse was Isaiah 41:9-10 *go read it ;) yep right now!! it's a great one!* God is always there He is always holding me. God is gracious and loving. it was so wonderful!! I had one of my friends come up to me and tell me that while i was speaking it was like a wave of blessing came and fell on him. It blessed me through that. I am so happy that I am able to be grant them with that and that each of them blessed me with their acceptance and joy.

I am doing well very i hope that you all are doing just as good. I love you and I am praying for you constantly! I would love your prayers for my students, my co workers, the people i interact with, my book, my church and my heart. 

The Same Yesterday, Today and Forever

   Today we did not have classes because it was our school's birthday.I was really excited about having a day off because well I could use the rest and time to write. I didn't actually sleep in but I was able to head down to my favorite cafe by Korea Nazarene University. I was able to write for a while and then i met with my good friend Taylor Ford for dinner. We had a good dinner and then began to talk. She had never hear my testimony before so our conversation drifted that way. I shared about all that God has done and who He has been in my life. I spoke about the hardships and troubles but I spoke about how God has provided and rescued and blessed me. 

   Recently I've been having a hard time. I have not been able to feel God,  to hear Him, but I know He's there. It's been hard because I've been dealing with the normal cultural issues here in Korea, the difference of belief about not only the normal religion and difference of how each person sees their others, especially foreigners. I've also been dealing with the issues of the self image here in Korea and how everyone is so incredibly thin and well...I'm not ha. But it's also the seasonal time of year when families come together and well enjoy being one. So I've been dealing with the loneliness and the culture and still feeling distant from God. 

    I've been trying to do my devos and worship and church regularly and trying to devote myself more and more but still i have been not feeling much of anything but I've been reading in Leviticus, Matthew and Psalms. I was reminded tonight about something David said time and time again. * I've been feeling more and more that David and I would have been great friends. * David was said to be the man after God's own heart and yet he was a man who failed time and time again. He was a man who committed adultery, murdered and questioned God. And yet he was a man who so passionately yearned to be close to God in spite of Himself. There were times when he was so close he could hear and feel God but other times when He could not feel God. He could not hear Him. David could only see the hardships around him. He would cry out to God and still perhaps have no answer. And yet in the end of almost every Psalm, David ends up Praising God. Countless times, David reminds himself of who God is and who God was. He would remind himself of who God was and then rejoice in what God would do. 

     Taylor reminded me that this was how a testimony worked. Yes it shared with others who you are and what you had gone through, but it also reminds the one who is sharing who God has been in their life. We will not always 'feel' God. we will not always 'hear' God, but God is there none the less. Times may get hard but I try to remember the teacher is quietest during the test.  And I was reminded of that Tonight, I may not understand what is going on or why i cannot feel or hear God like i use to but I know He is there! I know That God is passionately standing by us and protecting each of us. God has always taken care of us, why would he stop now? He wouldn't. He won't. 

    So maybe you are like me, maybe you are going through a hard time, remember who God is, remember who God has been. Do not give up! God is still the God who saved the Israelite from Egypt, He's still the only who heals and saves many, He's still the one who fed the 5000 He is still the one who died on the cross so He could spend eternity with you. Remember who God is and never give up hope.

Isaiah 41:10

Hey everyone

I know it's been crazy long since I've blogged and posted about how life is going. I'm so sorry! Life has been beyond crazy. Since I last talked to you amazing people, I've been teaching many classes, as well as fostering two adorable kittens who are getting adopted on friday and I love them and that's going to be so hard...but it's good :D Also i've been teaching my home Bible study *off and on the girls are now exceptionally busy and we haven't had it in a while :( * as well as leading worship and leading the adult Bible study at church. I was actually asked by my pastor to preach once a month. I am overwhelmingly blessed by these opportunities. I have been slightly pulled a bit thin though and I'm trying to regain some strength. I have up days and down days but I am richly blessed because God is always ALWAYS with me. I'm trying to read my bible through in 90 days time.i've never done this in such a short amount of time but I'm really excited about it. 

Today was a bit of a down day. I've been so extremely exhausted just from preparations for teaching two full weeks of 7 hrs of English and then teaching the last two days it's been crazy. I was just so drained today that I have been on the brink of tears for most of the day but God has gotten me through. I came home and extreme cleaned my bathroom and then cleaned up my living room pretty well as well as doing two loads of laundry. I was still obviously exhausted but I needed to do something I felt....And then i found a letter that came in my last box that said "save for a day when you need a smile" well I couldn't think of a better day that was described as such. i opened it up and saw a dinosaur card. Upon opening it tears just began to fall from my eyes it was a wonderfully scribbled letter from Mr. Ryon my 2 year old nephew and a beautiful letter form my sister Jenny. I needed these most today.I then began to cry out to God.*not sure why i didnt do this first but yeah:( *

I told God how i missed my family but I was thankful because I will see them soon-ish, and how I would miss my kittens but that I'm so thankful that they are getting a loving home and how I hate not being understood or not understanding and how i feel so alone and then God just told me even when there is everyone or no one around who understands that HE does and He is always there. I could not be more blessed with the LORD that we serve <3 I just pray that are you being richly blessed where you are. I hope and pray that no matter what life may look like that you take these few precious moments and thank GOD for what He has done and how He has blessed you <3 I love you all and i'm praying for you <3

 

Isaiah 41:10 says:
"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; 

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Finally a Blazing Fire!

Hey All,

this is a rarity isn't it? Two post within less then 24 hours. haha but alas here I go :D

God is amazing isn't He? Even through all the crap and stuff that is going on around the world, the fires in Colorado, the flooding in Florida, the war over seas, the impending war with Korea, and yet through it all GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL!!! What a RADICAL God we serve!!! 

I wanted to expand on what God has been doing in my life! I wrote a little bit on it last night but I was half awake and I NEED to explain more haha! I'm sorry i feel so giddy I cannot explain it haha. Ok So I was struggling deeply through a ton of stuff, but it came down to the fact that I had not only begun to listen to satan's lies but I had taken them to heart, which is so much worse. I had taken more then a few steps away from God and ended up falling into a pit of depression and sadness and loneliness. i had been focusing on what i did not have rather then what God has blessed me with. It was very destructive. Then I had allowed myself to become sick, slowly sicker and sicker until on the 15th I was so sick with strep that I could not swallow or talk and could barely breathe. I took a day off and rested at home all weekend. There was some stress that happened at work because I did not use the proper steps on taking a day off and I was seriously consumed at that point with worry and fear and I was completely overwhelmed when i was asked to have a meeting with the director of the program here in Cheonan.

 I finally begun to share what had been holding me down with a friend here in korea and that is when things began to look up. i cried and was so overwhelmed by everything and she shared her heart and that God has placed me here for a reason and I had begun to feel better. I had gotten that day a package from my mom and family and friends back at home and when i had finished talking with my friend that evening I went to the my room and unwrapped a package of pure love!! I spent the rest of the night crying and just thanking God for my family and friends. I went to sleep that night and actually rested for the first time in a while. i woke the next morning with some worries but mostly peace.I went through the day praying off and on and then went to the meeting and spoke with my Director and she did not fire me which I was afraid of but she spoke with me about my worries and how things were going and she reassured me that she would help handle the situation and that there would be no issues but that i needed to follow the right steps next time, which i assured her I would and I will if i get sick again. ha

That was Wednesday the 20th and then we had a dinner all of us teachers in the program and we celebrated together the birthdays of everyone who had had one in the last 3-4 months *myself included* and then celebrated with those who were leaving for a new adventure within the next 3-4 months. It was really good! Then I was talking with my friend Amanda here and we decided that we would go to the beach on Saturday. So we went to the beach Saturday and that was the first time I had actually swam in the ocean and it was beautiful and relaxing and so good, just what I needed. Then Sunday I have been asked to do a Bible Study of the Adults and college age for the English Service for 8 weeks because our normal Bible study leader is in Canada visiting home. I was preparing for the Bible study and still honestly not on the firmest of grounds with God and had no clue what God had wanted me to share and then I was reminded of a youtube video that I had seen of Francis Chan where he had been talking about this person he was very close to who had died and how he did not know if he was going to heaven or not and how he just broke down by the bed weeping when he died. Francis was not alone in the room when this happened. He turned to this man's son i believe it was an he said with tears streaming down his face that he did not want to ever be uncertain of his fate, he begged this man to never leave it up to change, to live his life fully sold out. I was then reminded of the verse in Revelations that Jesus says it would better to be hot or cold rather then luke warm that He would just spew you out of his mouth. 

This for whatever reason FINALLY sunk in! This is who I was being!!! I was complacent! I was luke warm!! I was safe. My Friend Lauren told me, "It means nothing to follow Jesus until you understand what it will cost you." Finally I've realized this!! I was having such a hard time because God has put a spiritual at the very edge of this cliff. I could either jump and trust that not only will God catch me but that He will teach me how to fly OR i could turn around and return to what i've known and become even more and more cold. God was not going to allow me to be complacent, he was not going to allow me to lukewarm any longer. this was the moment of decision. And in that momment, Sunday morning I was cleaning my house and listening to worship online and then I was in the middle of picking up trash when all of a sudden i had that choice, I could stop and worship God full and choose to never go back to who i was or i could choose to continue to be who i was...and I stopped and worshiped!! It is one thing to think and talk about doing something but it is so much more to actually do it! i'm doing a 90 read through the Bible plan, I am devoting myself fully to God! I am not sure what this means but I am overwhelmed with peace and hope and love and joy sooo much joy in spite of the hardships and sadness that I've heard about all over the world God is still in control GOD IS STILL HOLY!! this is a song that is sooo the cry of my heart right now I would encourage you to listen to it and be consumed by who GOD really is :D I love you guys!! Sorry this is so long but this is what has been going down :D i'm so happy I could share it with you! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXElUPuIDTw

AND I CHALLENGE YOU!! BE different!! Choose to be someone more!! and then GO and DO it with GOD'S help!!!!!