Recently I've been having a hard time. I have not been able to feel God, to hear Him, but I know He's there. It's been hard because I've been dealing with the normal cultural issues here in Korea, the difference of belief about not only the normal religion and difference of how each person sees their others, especially foreigners. I've also been dealing with the issues of the self image here in Korea and how everyone is so incredibly thin and well...I'm not ha. But it's also the seasonal time of year when families come together and well enjoy being one. So I've been dealing with the loneliness and the culture and still feeling distant from God.
I've been trying to do my devos and worship and church regularly and trying to devote myself more and more but still i have been not feeling much of anything but I've been reading in Leviticus, Matthew and Psalms. I was reminded tonight about something David said time and time again. * I've been feeling more and more that David and I would have been great friends. * David was said to be the man after God's own heart and yet he was a man who failed time and time again. He was a man who committed adultery, murdered and questioned God. And yet he was a man who so passionately yearned to be close to God in spite of Himself. There were times when he was so close he could hear and feel God but other times when He could not feel God. He could not hear Him. David could only see the hardships around him. He would cry out to God and still perhaps have no answer. And yet in the end of almost every Psalm, David ends up Praising God. Countless times, David reminds himself of who God is and who God was. He would remind himself of who God was and then rejoice in what God would do.
Taylor reminded me that this was how a testimony worked. Yes it shared with others who you are and what you had gone through, but it also reminds the one who is sharing who God has been in their life. We will not always 'feel' God. we will not always 'hear' God, but God is there none the less. Times may get hard but I try to remember the teacher is quietest during the test. And I was reminded of that Tonight, I may not understand what is going on or why i cannot feel or hear God like i use to but I know He is there! I know That God is passionately standing by us and protecting each of us. God has always taken care of us, why would he stop now? He wouldn't. He won't.
So maybe you are like me, maybe you are going through a hard time, remember who God is, remember who God has been. Do not give up! God is still the God who saved the Israelite from Egypt, He's still the only who heals and saves many, He's still the one who fed the 5000 He is still the one who died on the cross so He could spend eternity with you. Remember who God is and never give up hope.
