I Cannot remain SILENT!!!

God is doing so many amazing things! He has been working in my life and in my spirit. He has been strengthening me and growing me and filling my life and heart and being with Joy that I have never known and a calling, a calling to stand. I have become over this past semester molded into a warrior, a warrior for the Lord, wherever I may go I hold this within my heart! As I walk across campus I have felt as though i am walking into a battle field and with that I know that I am standing and that God has developed me into a light. I KNOW that God has leaders upon this campus that Need to hear AND LISTEN to His Voice... this song is my heart this is where i stand.

http://musicremedy.com/b/b

arlowgirl/videos/million-v

oices-23612.html

that's the actual song^^^^ the lyrics are below

Million Voices

by Barlow Girl

Tell me who’d have thought that we would be so controversial

And stand up against the normal 

Are we too outspoken, loud, and messing up the comfortable

Well we’ve been messed up also 

Yeah, yeah

But how can we be silent

When a fire burns inside of us

Chorus :

‘Cause we’re a million strong and getting stronger still

They’ll remember we were here

With a million voices breaking silence still

They’ll remember we were here

We were made to start the riot, take on the impossible

And we will slay the giants 

We are done with fake religion 

fighting now to find the movement

Won’t stop till we find it

How can we be silent

When a fire burns inside of us

Chorus :

‘Cause we’re a million strong and getting stronger still

They’ll remember we were here

With a million voices breaking silence still

They’ll remember we were here

We’re a million strong and getting stronger still

They’ll remember we were here

With a million voices breaking silence still

They’ll remember we were here

Chorus :

‘Cause we’re a million strong and getting stronger still

They’ll remember we were here

With a million voices breaking silence still

They’ll remember we were here

They’ll remember we were here

You will remember

Yes you’ll remember 

You will remember

Yes you’ll remember

My Heart is Ablaze!!! 

♥ ♥ ♥

Jesus Wants the Rose

This was shown in Church today right before we took the juice of communion and well it speaks for itself...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-zR3h2UsR4

If you are tagged it's because i though you might like to see this. . .

Why I stand in the Rain

I don't wanna look back and say
I wish I would have read that book, 
I wish I would have went to that game,
I wish I would have sang that song, 
I wish I would have seen that sunrise,
I wish I would have walked slower in the rain....

I never want to look back upon my life and wish,
I want to always look back on my life and smile,
smile because I have lived the Life that God has called me,
the life that has bright a smile to His Face,
the life that has impacted and helped others.

And so I walk to enjoy the peace,
to hear the rain's song
to feel it's gentle rhythm,
to just soak in the presence of the Lord through the gentle cleansing of the earth...

and so i walk in the rain. . . 

That's where I'm at....

God has been speaking to me a ton lately. Specifically through a book called Furious Pursuit. It has been speaking about the love of God and in my life I have heard about it over and over again and sadly I can honestly say that if someone were to come up to me, hand me a paper on the love of God and walk away, it would most likely have no affect upon me. The reason is because it is just words upon a page. There is no life within these words because they have been used over and over again and especially the word love has so many connation that there is no true grasp of what it is.

First just having words upon a page, if there is no life within the person who wrote it or if here is no passion behind those words then, there will be no passion and no urgency that seeps through the page. They are just black words printed on a white sheet; there is no connection to the heart or soul of the reader.

Also the word love is so distorted and overused now a days. Again there is no passion or heart or soul or even life in the word love anymore. It is just a passing phrase to say in closing or off the top of your head. The heart had been completely severed from love as a flower has been ripped from it’s vine. Without the vine the flower will wither and die, it will become nothingness. And after is it gone people will search and search for such beauty and peace. They will search the vine looking for another bud that may sprout but they will not find it, for the force that was taken to rip the flowers from the vine have uprooted and killed the vine and therefore both die, the flower and the vine; both love and the heart die.

Sadly this is where I have found myself time and time again. I have heard of this beautiful and amazing flower that will change our lives, but all it is is a story, a fairy tale that I’ve heard a hundred times. That the Prince comes and finds his princess and saves her from her drastic state and carries her off into the sunset. Then there was the twist in the story, that God was our Prince. Well I could not and would not allow myself to picture God, this ultimate cosmic being, as a humble human let alone a Prince who is lower then a King or even someone who loved me. No this was not possible. It was just a fairy tale. Or so I thought.

Within this book it has opened my eyes to how much I don’t know about God. How if I listen, truly listen not with ears but if I take the time and replant the vine that He is faithful and will whisper to my long neglected heart. This thought was even more blown out of the water with the thought that God is physically pursuing me and desperately not only wanting but needing to have a relationship with me. A true relationship with me one of love and passion and hope, one of true love that surpasses all reason and understand. This is unfathomable to me.

I am still having great trouble dealing with this. I know who I am and what I have done or thought or whatever. I know me and God should not love me. I can’t grasp why He would love me. Needless to say this has opened up a flood gate of questions and doubt and inadequacies and honestly I find myself almost avoiding God because I can’t face that kind of Love…it is terrifying… but yeah that’s where I am at.

Please Pray

I wanted to let you all know what is going down with me and I'm sorry that i haven't told you before now but yeah it's been crazy. As you know I'm an Intercultural Studies major which is a fancy way of saying missions major and as such i am focusing in study abroad. As such, most people study abroad their Junior year so that they are all set in the groove of being in college and it is required that everyone spends at least there last 18 credits before they graduate so it's perfect :D and since i was able to come back to Mnu this put the plan of me studying abroad back into motion. well i've been thinking and wanting to study somewhere asian because I love their culture and then I heard about how the Korean Nazarene University and how they want people to come over to South Korea to teach english and I really want to do it and then i figured how amazing it would be if i studied abroad over there and so Lorie Beckum, my advisor and I started to get it into motion. and it'g going really well!! I'm sooo very excited about it. and it's going to be very soon i'm going to be going over to South Korea in the SPRING Semester :D

I really need your prayers because i do not know how to pay for some stuff. Praise God that my loans and Fafsa will take care of the tuition; however, I have to get a 1250 plane ticket and my passport and at KNU their meal plan covers Breakfast and that is it. They serve Lunch and Dinner but you have to play for it. So I'm in a bind, but God is Amazing and He has and will provide for me i know it. right now I have about $800 to my name soo it's a long way to go. so prayers and if you know of anyone who would be able and willing to help me out that would be amazing too!! Thanks so very much!!

God's Love

God's love. it's an incredible thing and yet do we understand it? do we truly grasp it? what prevents us from understand the Love of God? personally i think it is time and out constant thought that we don't have any. If we would just wait and and draw closer to God, if we would just draw to his heart and learn what makes his heart pound...it would change the world. If we knew the love of God and took it to heart, if we did what we were called to do...

if we followed in God's loving foot steps, we would change the world. it would solve most of the problems that curse our world and allow us to become the people that God has called us to be. how? if we loved like he does, we would not be burdened by selfishness and there fore we would be able to feed the starving because we would not only see the abundance that we have and the starving but we would do something about it, those enslaved... if we knew the love of God, truly knew the love of God and how He sees everyone, how could we enslave someone He loved so much? There would be no rape or murder or prejudice or poverty or abusive of any kind. But sadly most of us do not. I know that in my life i have not.

But God has challenged me and I am now challenging you. stop and think before you do anything, think about the Love of God and think of how it can change the lives of those around you. We are called to be the hands and feet of God and we cannot expect change to just happen... we have to get up off out seats and do something about it. I know that i am going to try to the best of my knowledge and power to be that love that God has called us to be. and I challenge you to listen to the heart of God and follow it. <3

My Testamonie

Ok so i was encouraged by one of my friends to write my testamonie on here, so... here goes lol! (thanks Matt) I do warn you, I am completely honest in here and I reviel a ton about me, more than I ever have. I would ask that you do no judge me, I am broken I am here though and open.ok well my name is Megan Kathleen Jarrell and i'm 20 years old. I was born and raised in Colorado Springs, Colorado all my life and blesed with an amazing family. Of course my life was not perfect, who's is? My father left when I was young leaving my mother to raise my two brothers one older one younger than I. My mother was a good mom, she raised us as best as she could, though the pressures of life did not help any. I had a rough childhood to sa the least... lol but I was blessed with food in my stomach and a warm(most nights lol) bed and a wonderous family!
I fainlly got the hang of life and began to really deeply bond with my mom and she got diagnosed with Breast cancer when I was in 4th grade. my mom went in and out of the hospital for different things over the next four years. They tried Kymo, radiation, as well as many other different types of treatments, they worked for a short time but then it always came back....My mother was no longer my mother... she was always out cold because of all the medication that she as on, she because a veggitable, somone i didn't know or didn't want to know.... I began to distance myself from her...it got so bad that she was forced to move into a nursing home. during the times when my mom was in the hospital, my brothers and I would stay with friends and one of those friends actually were the Ramseys. They ended up being our car pool during a hard time wtih my mom. Linda Ramsey ended up helping my mom so much by taking her to the store and many other things...it was a huge blessing.
Summer 2003 my mom asked the Ramsey's if they would be willing to take all 3 of us in once she passed away and they agreed even though they have 5 kids of their own....Well one thing that you need to know about me, I'm a HUGE clutz like hard core and well I'm kinda a chicken too lol and well my frieshman year... i ended up breaking my left ankel like hard core like shattered it and since I"m a clutz I kept falling and so my doc(who was a stud) told me to stay off it for a while and well, one day, Linda came into my room and she was crying and I knew instantly what was going down...my mom had gone to see the Lord.
THe ramsey's had paid for me to go to a winter reach in 2001 and I had ended up accepting the Lord though even though my mom was a DEVOUT christian and a wonderful woman of God. I had gone and while the pastor was preaching speaking of God's greace and mercry I was just getting mroe and mroe ticked off because I couldn't understand why or HOW a God who's so loving could and would give my MOM breast cancer....I litterally stood up and shout at him screaming and asking how the heck could a God who's so loving and mearciful give my mom breast cancer. I went and ran out into the snow... we were up in the mountains of Colorado... and and I ran and ran and ran all the while I heard God whispering I love you i love you i love you and then i eventually turned around freezing and out of breath I ended up back at scantuary at the bottom of the cross... one of my mentors and the pastor ended up being there and I ended up accepting Christ that night.
I went to Springs Frist church of the Naz. for like the rest of my times and One Wen. night after NYC(Naz. Youth Confrence) people were talking about how amazing it was and how God had changed their lives and all and I was not paying attenion because I was upset because my friend was not there with me because she couldn't go that night but they ended up playing a vid. from the event and there was this woman who said, "when the bellies of the children in Afric hurt becase they are starving your bellies should ache, and when the hearts of the mothers break because their children are dying from AIDS your hearts should break..." We had not sung any sonds but we stood to sing and God wispered "Go pray" and I was like no becasue I'm upset cuz my friend coulnd't be there that night and God was like "Go pray" and i was like no... and God said something that if He EVER says you neeeeed to do, whatever it is... He said "This is the last times I'm going to say it my dear Go pray" and so I was like ok...and i went to pray and as soon as I began to pray I begane to weep not knowing why and I prayed and prayed and then it hit my heart like a ton of bricks, my heart was breaking for the lsot and so I knew that I must go and help anyone and any way I can....
I now attend MidAmericaNazarene University in Olathe, ks I'm a Sophmore, I'm the class Chaplin, I was a youth pastor this past summer in Minot, North Dakota, which was amazing and completley like changing! I'm still broken and still not sure what God wants of me or anything so I'm waitnig and trusting and praying that God will make me into a Woman of God and that I'll be able to honor HIM with my life!
I am not perfect.... here is my honesty..... I have struggled with MUCH! I have been belimic, anarexic, I've cut, I've been susidal, I am broken! But it is within out brokenness that God uses us most, therefore, I write this to show that I AM NOTHING! I am useless but God is everything he is the one who makes the most beautiful things out of our crap and it's wonderful! we jsut must let go and let God! Rememeber Phil.4:13
I love you all so much and you all are HUGE blessings thanks you soo much and if you EVER need me please just call me I'm always going to be here for you no matter what!Acts 20:24

~Megan

I wanna be a rhino...

I was in a council leadership meeting with the amazing Mike Davis yesterday... and the group was talking about different stuff and well, Mike was talking about two books that he's been reading that he really wants us to check out because they are pretty amazing and they have transformed his thinking, (the books being The Barbarian Way by Erwin Raphael McManus and Crazy Love by Francis Chan and Danae Yankoski)... anywho... he started to talk about how in The Barbarian Way there is a place where the author talks about how Rhinos and how they run at 30 mph but how they can see only 10 ft in front of them. Jacob Miller did the math for me and that's like the Rhino and see only 1/2 as far in front of him as he is going... like if a Rhino runs 20 feet he can only see 10 ft in front of him by the times he's traveled the 20 feet... the Rhino must trust....He must just chance after the target within his heart...This is just like what God calls us to... at least this is where I am... I know that I'm here... I'm in this place and I'm learning and doing and I can hear God's voice off in the distance somewhere, calling me and YOU to great things and yet I'm being a Pansy Rhino if a rhino at all... I'm taking baby steps if even that asking God to show me ever step that I should take, ever muscle that I should move, ever action that I should do... I want God to show me EXACTLY where I need to be and when but the thing is, God gives us free will, He WANTS us to make our own choices, He WANTS us to learn and grow, TRUSTING Him... the fact is God is most likely (and I say most likely because I'm not God and He can do what He wants...) But God is most likely NOT going to show me or YOU ever step of the way, He is going to call you from where you are right now to where HE wants you to be... He just asks that we become the Rhinos, that we trust and that we run after him, NOT knowing what the future may hold or what not but what is along the way, but knowing that God will not allow us to get off his path without knowing it, he will always be there to gently guide us back to the path but then calling us to something great, to something unknown... but the choice is yours... will you be a timid little pansy rhino... or will you be a strong, trusting Rhino?.............the choice is yours.......

Thump thump, thump thump...

I wrote this a while ago but ti's still true only I wish I could expeirence that closeness lol with a guy... I'm getting there with God hee hee"The most romantic thing is for a wife to fall asleep on her husbands' chest, so close to him, she is able to hear him breath, she is able to hear his heart."Personally I agree....But this got me thinking...I am single and not looking to get married any time soon...but I can still experience this is a way...sorta...I can strive to get Close enough to God that I can hear his breaths.... that i could hear his heart, and if I hear his heart then I can follow it....But getting that close to God will take time and patience and determination and a longing from my own heart....For even in the relationship between the wife and the husband there was a longing for closeness ...there was time spent together...there was patience....and there was a determination for that relationship to work.... even through all the bad times...that relationship just grew closer as they grew closer together, knowing that the other would not leave just because it was getting harder...This is how it is with God and us....He is the one that will never leave us no matter how hard the situation gets, he is the one that is actually carrying us... I just wanted to let you all know that I am also there for you no matter what...that I hope that you feel, as I do, that our friendship is stronger than the hard times that may come and that we are going to stick together no matter what Satan decides to throw at us...that with God we can do anything... So as a little kid puts his head to his dad's chest to hear his heart, let us listen to the heart of our Lord and Heavenly Father and follow after him whole heartedly!!