BTWS this is the song playing this evening that God has set a blaze in my heart ღ ღ ღ
O wow!!! God has been moving and working in ways I cannot express and i feel like I'm not meant to, And that's OK!!!Words cannot even try and express where my heart is right now!! And I can never go back to where I was!!!!
its like I was in this dark awful care all my life, and finally i've allowed God to lead me to the Son **sun** and I cannot nor could i EVER go back into that cave!!! ti's much to glorious here!!!!!!
God is so much bigger then any person or any school or any hopes or dreams!
He is so much more intimate and passionate then we will ever dream or experience!!
In chapel God broke my heart for the lost and restored my calling.
He always affirmed what I mean to him in a way that my heart finally heard.
Then I went with a few friends in Weatherby *our chapel on campus* and cried out to God for about two hours.
We declared God's glory and who He is and cried out for our campus and our friends and our own hearts!
Then we went to lunch and fellow-shipped and grew closer to each other.
***I had deiced that i did not need to fast anymore, i had and still have a peace about this but I will still be praying and spending time with God and would still love your prayers for MNU and myself****
Then I went to Karate and was able to worship God through my classes and i came back and rested a bit before Kingdom Come this evening!!! **Kingdom Come is a student led worship service where we come and pour out our lives before God**
Tonight was amazing and not just because of the hearts of those leading worship or those serving communion or just the amazing people there, but it was because the Holy Spirit was moving and actively, no JEALOUSLY Pursuing each and every person there tonight!! AAAAAANNNNNDDDD Because people were listening and responding!!! God is freeing people from addictions and chains and everything that has held people back!!
For me in my life!!!! God has freed me from something that has held me back for So long! this need to be needed or this need to be loved. I've been always searching for someone to complete me in the way that i think that i should be completed and it's been wrong I would find an amazing guy and lean on them expecting them to complete me and it was not of God it was not what it should've been**if you are one of those guys who i've done this to I am sorry!!**
But God has freed me from that!!!! not the need for love because that is the very essence of my being...to love and to be loved, but he has helped me to realize that i already have that love!!!!!!!! GOD is that love and he's been standing right next to me the entire time!! ^0^ Now is this to say that i believe i will be single for the rest of my life...to be honest, I don't know and right now i don't care XDDD I mean I would love love love to have a husband someday but He cannot and will not complete me and he will never be my God for my God is irreplaceable!!!!! Though the snow storm is ragging outside My heart my life my mind, MY SOUL are at peace and such unexplainable contentment ღ
it's crazy God has done more in the past three days then He has in the past 22 years!! And sadly it's because i've tried to hold the control, but NO LONGER!!! Give God three days of true surrender and see what will happen! I challenge you! God is big enough for your "what if's" He is strong enough for your doubt He is loving enough and passionate enough for you that he will AND HAS concord you sadness and hurts!! God is bigger and has more passion for us then we could EVER imagine!!!!!
