My Ghost

I wrote this poem in march again from a dream Yay DREAMS <3 :)

My Ghost
you are haunting me...
following my every step, my every thought
not allowing my mind, my eyes, nothing to wander
when I move, you follow
you are like my shadow
connected to my very soul
that one moment
the one that I cannot escape
it plays over and over in my mind
like the rhythm of my steps
right, left, right left
each moment, over and over



and yet I embrace my captivity
that vision of spender
that moment wrapped up in the delicious darkness
when only the moon and stars watched over us
that moment when you held me


when I felt your heart beating through your chest
somehow it moved in time with mine
your sweet scent that rolls off your skin
it is still warm in my nose
the moment our lips finally touched
how your gruff still prickles my face
how I could not help myself

tracing the hard line of your jaw with gentle fingers
silently intertwining them in your dark hair at the nape of your neck
you pulled away slightly after too short of a moment
and let out a grin that is forever etched into my mind
and then....
you were gone...

our moment destroyed by reality
for the knock came on my door and my eyes opened
the very edges of the dream disappeared
like sand on the edge of the beach...
reluctantly I must get up and answer reality's call
but I will be back to see you soon my dear
back in our world
where you and I can be together
and nothing else matters

I Love you....

I love you. I always have, I always will 
I know that we are so far apart and there is no reason in it at all but I love you. 
I want to be with you more than taking 
my next breathes, 
more than being able to listen to the birds sing I want to hear your voice call my name.
I need to feel your arms holding never letting go.
Not just in my dear but in my living of this day. 
I need to see your face light up when you see me, I need you to love me. 
But I cannot tell you not here. Not in this place. 
so I nod and smile and chat about the things of life as the days pass by, 
all the time I'm hoping, 
praying that you will love me.

My Strengths :D

INCLUDER

“Stretch the circle wider.” This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others. You want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from its support. You hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so that they can feel the warmth of the group. You are an instinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgments. Judgments can hurt a person’s feelings. Why do that if you don’t have to? Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on a belief that each of us is different and that one should respect these differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. We are all equally important. Thus, no one should be ignored. Each of us should be included. It is the least we all deserve.

POSITIVITY

You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won’t allow it. Somehow you can’t quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one’s sense of humor.

DEVELOPER

You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth—a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of “flow” where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments—invisible to some—are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.

ACTIVATOR

“When can we start?” This is a recurring question in your life. You are impatient for action. You may concede that analysis has its uses or that debate and discussion can occasionally yield some valuable insights, but deep down you know that only action is real. Only action can make things happen. Only action leads to performance. Once a decision is made, you cannot not act. Others may worry that “there are still some things we don’t know,” but this doesn’t seem to slow you. If the decision has been made to go across town, you know that the fastest way to get there is to go stoplight to stoplight. You are not going to sit around waiting until all the lights have turned green. Besides, in your view, action and thinking are not opposites. In fact, guided by your Activator theme, you believe that action is the best device for learning. You make a decision, you take action, you look at the result, and you learn. This learning informs your next action and your next. How can you grow if you have nothing to react to? Well, you believe you can’t. You must put yourself out there. You must take the next step. It is the only way to keep your thinking fresh and informed. The bottom line is this: You know you will be judged not by what you say, not by what you think, but by what you get done. This does not frighten you. It pleases you.

CONNECTEDNESS

Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.

You are Beautiful

Did you know, you are beautiful?
Well you are. 
You are stunning, radiant and you take God's breath away.
He loves you and created you exactly who you are, 
He loves you at your best and at your worst.
He loves you when you are waring your finest and when you are a sleep with drool hanging out of your mouth.
Yes, we know God loves us, but do you know you are beautiful?

God created you to be just as you are.

The color of your eyes, the dimpels in your face, the hairs on your skin...they all make you beautiful.

Every freckle on your smooth skin, the way you smile, how you laugh, how your eyes puff up when you cry....you are beautiful. 

When you are sick and pale, when you scrape your knee and are bent over, when you are all bundled up in the snow....You are beautiful.

Sadly this world works against us.

It says that we are not tall enough, not skinny enough, not athletic enough, not creative enough, not....enough.
But don't listen to it!

It whispers lies in the dark of night, hoping someone will listen, but that is all that it is...whispered lies.

Hold to the truth.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

And God Values you.

I value you.

You are made from the Image of God.
You are like no other species in all of creation.
Even God has called you unique. 
God has called all of creation good, but it was not Very Good until we were added. 
You are Stunning.
You and your life make God smile.
There is noone and will never be anyone ever like you again <3
Just thought I'd remind you, you are beautiful and you are precious <3

Do you cling to the dying rose or look to the rising sun?

God know what You've done, Where you've come from and what you are going through.

He knows your heart, your hurts, your joys, and what overwhelms you.

He knows how you yearn for love, for acceptance, for appreciation, to be needed. 

He sees you when you skip for joy.

He holds you when you cry your eyes out.

He laughs with you when snow tickles your nose.

He sends angels to stand guard over you while you rest your head, while you walk throughout your day.

He is with you when you are tempted to sin.

And when you fall down again, when His heart grows heavy.

He knows that hurts you try and cover with the addictions, which only make it worse.

He's with you when you try to go it alone.

He's holding you when your world crumbles around you.

He protects your heart from what you cannot handle but allows you to walk your own path.

And after you've done what you want, He picks you up, holding you close, dusting you off.

Throughout our fleeting days we say we are in control of our lives, doing what we want.

Yes we make our own decisions and from that we must live with our consequences.

But what is the point of all this?!

Why do we get up each day??

Is it for our glory?!? IF  it is I think that we are all screwed over.

Because though life gets hard and we push our faces to the ground,

if this is all there is then why do we work so hard?

Life is so crazy short that people we love and grow so close to are here one min. and gone the next.

IF this is all that there is, that is plain flat out crewel.

But our hope and faith and the promise given to us is that this is not all of it.

This pain and suffering and hurt was not meant to be in the first place.

This life, we being people who attach to each other so easily, we were not meant to separate.

But because of our choices we must be, for a short time.

But our joy is that this is not all.

We do not live for what had polluted this world, but for the things of God- or we should.

A few questions:

Does your life reflect that your hope, your faith is in the promise that was given to you, that we are meant for so much more?

Or do you blend in with the hopeless?

Those who are wrapped up in the things that are dying and fleeting?

Do you cling to the dying rose or look to the rising sun?

 Or

Whispered Prayers on an October's Eve

Lord, here i sit under the canopy of stars arbored by the strong gentle branches of this tree, resting as the slightest breeze plays with my hair tickling my face. Countless thing try and draw my attention; sirens, cars, machines truing on and off, the baseball announcer droning off the score again, the crunch of people scuffing through a handful of fallen leaves, and yet here I still absorbed in Your stillness, in Your peace.

Finally, for once, nothing else matters, not homework or test or money or a job or a relationship or anything, only You. God here in these few moments of peace and a gentle quiet all that matters is You. My nose stings with the deep draw of cool air and yet my hear cannot drink deep enough. My ears long to listen closer to the crickets' song and yet my soul edges ever closer to hear your voice. My legs tell me twigs and bark are poking me and yet I only feel that you, God my Lord, that You are here and that You are holding me because You love me. So here i rest in the cool stillness of this October evening, not simply sitting under a tree looking at bright floating orbs, but falling deeper and more passionately in love with You.

Thank you God for this wonderful evening

Rambelings of a Broken Heart

God's been challenging me so Much lately and if you've ever been challenged by God you knwo in your head it's a good thing but you almost never like it...same goes for me.

I've been going to this Bible study and the teacher Roger has talked about Shame so much and the differnce between Shame and Guilt. but first what causes shame....

wellll we all have hurts...little hurts that consume our hearts. our hurst are caused by a mean word or something done to us be it when we are young or older and it's like a grain of sand that's caught in a clams' mouth. The poor clam cannot spit it out or pull it out or get ride of it, therefor the clam puts up a thin layer of hardness around it over and over and over and over again over MANY years it becomes a pearl. we see a Pearl as something so precious but it's really a hurt masked over and over so many times... Jesus talks about our pearls

Matthew 7:6

"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."

God is saying take care of your hurts. if you are stil dealing with the shame that is wrapped up in your hurts becareful with whom your share them. He also says...

James 5:16

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

so God is not saying that we have to concore the world alone or that we have to heal alone just to be careful of whom we share our pearls.

The difference between Shame and Guilt:

Shame-->hatred of whom I am

Guilt--->hatred of what I have done

Please pray that I would be released from my shame....and I pray you shall too if you trust me and or wanna chat feel free to comment or message me I'm here for there is joy

John 8:36

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."

And He is freeing us from that shame :) Love you guys

Thoughts at 4am :D

I've been thinking a ton lately about life,

How it passes so quickly,

How precious and fradgile it is...

and yet we all, Myself inculded, treat it so worthlessly

we worry about so much and ignore that which truly matters...

we worry about money or clothes or reputation or this or that when really it doesn't matter.

All that matter is God, God and His people and the love He has for them.

And by 'God's people' I dont mean some chosen breed of people who are called and holier then thou

I mean all beings, each and everyone who was MADE IN HIS IMAGE

Gen. 1:27 says

"So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them."

Have you ever really thought about that?

God chose to make us in HIS image, not that of a monkey or a whale or a tiger or a tree but in the IMAGE OF THE ONE TRUE GOD!! that Blow my mind.

God has called us and asked us to love Him, to love and serve Him with all we are.

He has asked us to open up our hearts and be transformed by His love and His being, to be closer to Him.

To hold NOTHING back,

not our addictions,

our hate,

our loneliness, 

our inner words of self hatred,

not what we do when we are alone,

or the actions that result from lies from satan,

God asks-no He doesn't even ask, He demands us to give Him EVERYTHING

and I mean How can we not?!?!

I mean He gave His life,

He is not asking for us to do anything that He has not already done

think about it if you were hanging out wiht your BFF and suddenly a guy came up to you and pointed a gun to your head and your friend jumped infront of you,

without thinking or caring about their life

they gave it all right away,

well Jesus did this except He did one better,

He DID think about it,

All His life,

At any moment He could have said no I'm done and called a bazillion Angels to come down and give up their lives,

but He didn't,

He CHOSE to stick it out,

He CHOSE to give it all,

He CHOSE to give up a family on this earth for His Heavenly family

He CHOSE to give up the fast fading 'fun' for the eturnal fun

He CHOSE to litterally DIE, stop exhisting here on earth for YOU and ME!

this makes me rethink what really matters...

Clothes?

Cars?

Ipods?

Marriage?

Money?

Fame?

is it eturnal or is it earthly?

Does it really matter?

Matthew 16:15-16

"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?"

Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

 

wanna know what mattered most to Him? read about it, read about Him, His word was not made for someone elseat some other time but it was written for you, for NOW

My Ghost

you are haunting me...

following my every step, my every thought

not allowing my mind, my eyes, nothing to wander

when I move, you follow

you are like my shadow

connected to my very soul

that one moment

the one that I cannot escape

it plays over and over in my mind

like the rhythm of my steps

right, left, right left

each moment, over and over

and yet I embrace my captivity

that vision of spender

that moment wrapped up in the delicious darkness

when only the moon and stars watched over us

that moment when you held me

when I felt your heart beating through your chest

somehow it moved in time with mine

your sweet scent that rolls off your skin

it is still warm in my nose

the moment our lips finally touched

how your gruff still prickles my face

how I could not help myself

tracing the hard line of your jaw with gentle fingers

silently intertwining them in your dark hair at the nape of your neck

you pulled away slightly after too short of a moment

and let out a grin that is forever etched into my mind

and then you were gone...

our moment destroyed by reality

for the knock came on my door and my eyes opened

the very edges of the dream disappeared

like sand on the edge of the beach...

reluctantly I must get up and answer reality's call

but I will be back to see you soon my dear

back in our world,
where you and I can be together
and nothing else matters

Destiny

Destiny:

A chance meeting of two souls

Eyes connecting across the square

Hundreds of people walk by as we stand still

Two frozen figures connected from the very depth of our being

We go unnoticed by the world here

Somehow my feet have drawn me closer to you

Somehow we floated together without me telling my feet to move

Closer, each step, each moment

Like magnets drawn from opposite sides of the world

Wanting, no, needing to be together

Face to face, a few feet separate us

You smile a grin that makes me no longer stand but float away

There is no need for words

For there are none

Our souls whisper what our mouths cannot

A moments passes, a breathe and I am in your arms

Kissing you with a passion unknown to most

I am unsure who moved first but that does not matter

For this was no chance meeting

This was destiny, drawing our hearts together

No one notices our embrace, for this is Paris the city of Love...

Time passes as a dream

Because this love is not allowed

We are two separate beings from two separate worlds

Will this last, I do not know

but you are here and I am here

Wrapped up in this marvelous dream

But I do not care, I can dream with you forever...

Today something is wrong,

Your embrace, your touch, your eyes say it

Even as the rest of the world fades

Your worries, your heart cries out to me.

I beg you to share

You say things have changed

You say that you must go...and I must stay

The world calls us back, reality beckons

You say this was a beautiful dream

But just that -- a dream

Silent tears of disbelief trace the lines of horror in my face...

And you walk away...

Music, reason, color, love, life, all are meaningless...

They fade away...

No! this cannot be...I won't accept it

And so I stay

Walking these streets we once walked together...

Tracing the foot steps we once shared

A cursed shadow tied to the piano you played in this once beautiful cafe

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

No one knows my heartache

No one sees my tears as I sit here in the corner of this once beautiful cafe

I sit waiting for you, watching the icing harden on my roll...

I do not care to eat, to breathe

Without you, life, breathe, everything is not needed

People brush past, I sit here unnoticed by the world

No one interrupts my unbroken gaze at nothing

Not even the cafe workers bother me anymore

Muffled voices attack my solitude

It is getting busy, I should leave

Yes it is later then I thought, that would be the best.

Will I ever be woken from this murderous slumber?

A sigh escapes my lips as I carry my untouched roll to the counter

Uttering empty thanks I walk away meeting no one's gaze

And just in time

A destroyer of my fragile solitude begins to coax a gentle melody out of the once beautiful piano

Tear burst forth from my eyes as the memories I had, now shatter upon this melody

No, NO! I must leave, I must run, I cannot hear this, not this...

This melody...deep hatred...this destroyer has no right

I must go, I must run, Now!

As I reach the door, I must look back

I must see the face of this destroyer, I must

Slowly I turn and look at that dark piano in the corner

No, this is an evil trick of my mind, my eyes

I want to look away, I have to look away, but I cannot

You do not see me, your eyes are shut

No emotion escapes except a single tear that traces a hard line down your cheek

I cannot move, even for those pushing past me

In utter despair, my legs leave me

My heart and mouth scream your name

And I am on the floor, weeping

The music has stopped, was it ever really there?

Were you ever really there?

No this is a cruel trick by my mind

A last ditch effort to grasp sanity

Yet now I feel your arms around me

If I will lose my sanity, this is the way to go

This smell, Your smell that rolls off your skin, intertwining with your hair

It intoxicates me

the warmth from your arms, O how I wish this were real!

I must stop this illusion before I go mad

I push it back forcing myself to reality

But this illusion is strong

Your face, your grasp, even my tears that have stained your shirt...

“This is not real.”

That Look which would have broken my heart if this was you..

“Not real? I am here, I love You, ONLY YOU!!!

This is Me holding you, this is me Loving you!'

I shake my head, trying to dissolve this beautiful illusion

“I will show you”

You grasp my face, looking into my eyes desperately and kiss me

This passion wakes me from my numbed slumber

You search my soul, whispering, “I love you, only you!”

And somehow, as your breathe tickles my lips, I know it is you

This is real, You are here and you do Love me

And this is all that matters,

You holding me, you loving me, this is all that matters!

<3

My Shield

My Shield:

 

I walk with you, Hand in Hand

I stay with you, in your Arms

You hold me tightly, So close

And yet so very far away...

For I have a shield, it protects me

I tell you my past, But I am protected

I let you come close, But I am protected

I share much with you but keep you at arms length

My shield is the only thing that keeps me safe, it keeps me whole

My mouth speaks many words, While I silence my heart

Have you seen my heart?

Can you feel my sorrow?

Have you seen my tears, the true tears of my heart?

Have you seen my true joy?

Have you heard my pure laugh?

No, no...for I am protected, hidden behind my shield..

So what shall you do?

Will you stay close but far away?

Or will you climb over my wall, to the true me?

Will you take away my shield and know me, accept me for who I am?

Will you fight to see me fully?

Will you fight to know me deeply?

Will you fight for me?

Whispers

Whispers:


Whispered prayers of my yearning heart
A stirring at my very center
A great need for Love
Unquestionable and untamable love
Love the depth of which no man can give
At my very inner being a starvation grows
Unquenched by food or water
It cannot be touched by anything of this world
A desperate need to be known
Truly known and accepted
This thing eating away at me spreads throughout
Threatening to devour me
To take my very soul...


Then you lift my head
Lord, you take me in your arms
Holding me close as peace sweeps over me
For you know me.


Your Love is unconditional
Your Love is the gentle caress of water to my dry and cracking throat,
Your Love is the purest breathe that fills the deepest part of my lungs,
Your Love is the blazing fire which finally warms my frozen soul,
Your Love my Lord is that which saves me
Your Love is the Key to unlocking my dark chains
Your Love, Lord, is the answer to all
It is all I need
You are all I need
You are my Love, my life,
For Your love is my reason to live!

My Dreams

I wrote this last night when i was woken from a dream and it's kinda also inspired by my mom becuase she has encouraged me to write again and so the ink is flowing and the paper stained, once again :) I'd love to know what u think!! <3

My Dreams.

At the slightest sound or smallest word, my dreams are chased away. They run to somewhere that i cannot follow. They hide in the stillness of night, encompassed by a starry peace that sheds its protective casing only in the deepest slumber.

My heart screams through my dreams. Calling our for understand, for recognition, for help and yet this is something that I cannot grant. For I am trapped in this cage of reason, of knowledge where my heart, my dreams, are not needed nor wanted. They are shoved aside huddled behind a smile and laugh that fool all. My worries, my fears, my sorrow, even my joys are hidden away in my heart, in my dreams.

So if you notice a tear rolling down my cheek or wonder why my gaze and my spirit wonder off out of the room, do not mind it. I am chasing after my dreams and reality will soon enough catch up with me.

EuNC

Ok so I left Denver at 5:35 ish and headed straight for frankfurt Germany. i had a 10 hr flight. the food wasn't bad at all :D and I watched Fame and Harry Potter and the 1/2 blood prince so it was overall really good. I sat next to this older french lady who spoke nothing but french it was fun because i've taken 3 years in high school and 2 semesters at MNU. it was awesome because i was able to help her with some stuff and one of the things was with the movie it was just awesome!
i got off at 11:25 am in Frankfurt and I went to pick up my luggage and since no one in a uniform was around i asked this young couple to help me with going through the airport to get to the train station. the lady told me that I was going to have to get a train ticket to get to the main station and I was ok ... so i went to the train platform down these stairs(yay escalator) and at that point asked an older couple if i was in the right area and they said no that I had to go back up the stairs and go to the long distance trains...
so i had to lug my 49.5 lb duffle up the stairs(the escalator only went down...) and my two other bag one easily like 15 the other between 10-15lbs back up the like tons of stairs only to find out that i was at the right place but I have to buy a ticket...sooo i got some help getting a ticket and then headed back down the stairs... once getting there and being completely out of breathe, I went up to this college age looking girl and asked if she knew when the train was to arrive and she, Katrina, proceeded to explain my short distance train ticket and my long distance train ticket to me and she also, once on the short distance train, sat next to me, talked to me and then when It was time to get off she got off with me and walked me to my next platform telling me what time i was supposed to be there and everything!!
so I had about an hour to kill and waited around. O Random thing, there are pigeons EVERY where in the train systems!! it was awesome I saw one and was waiting so fed one a piece of a cracker then there were 10 so I fed them the rest of the cracker and then there were 50!! it was insane!! so i stopped feeding them XD i did get like a VERY small cup of Coca because it was freezing and it was like 2 Euros which is like $3.50 so crazy expensive... but it was nice to have something warm
I got on my train and the lady who check train tickets came by and checked mine and I sat by myself and listened to my music and the stops. It was mostly empty which was nice. I then got off in Stuttgart and ran to catch my train down one flight of stairs under the trains over up more stairs to my platform and was able to get onto my train. it was fairly empty at the time but got busy quick and with my luggage with me i didn't have too much room but I was sort of able to sleep for a bit. I finally got into Singen at about 7:30pm!
I was told to look for someone who was in an EuNC sweater or had a sign with my name or something, but i saw no one on the platform, my heart sunk and my mind began to race but I lugged all my baggage down the stares and still saw no one under the trains... desperate i went up to this lady and told her I was waiting for someone from my school and asked her where she thought that they would wait. she directed me to the main floor and entrance of the train station and I started heading that way, thinking that if there wasn't someone there who was from EuNC that I had no idea how to call them or anything. and i was seriously considering sitting in a ball in the corner crying...
so I headed to the main are, consequently up more stair, but as i was heading toward the stairs a very tall girl in a black coat came down the stairs and once she saw me she smiled and so did i (and honestly at this point i think i would have gone with her even if she was not from the school haha JK JK mom :D I wouldn't've) but after smiling and most likely seeing the desperation in my eyes she asked if i was Megan and I seriously had tears in my eyes!! I was soo thankful!!! (Yay Lizz) she told me her name was Lizz and she helped me carry my duffel up the stairs(YAY!!!!) and we walked out to the car where Jon another student was waiting. she told me that her and Jon needed to go to the store and she informed me that lunch was provided but everything else was fend for yourself. So Jon lugged my bag into the van and we were off!
we went to Aldies!!(Yes they have them in Germany) got some food and headed to the school it didn't take too long and it was fun! it's always better to travel with others and since this was just about the first time I had been able to talk in English in like 2 days, i must admit it cam spewing out I kinda feel back for them :S but they didn't seem to mind...I got in that night and got unpacked meeting everyone in the school remembering just about no one's name, and staying up till about 2 am because I was on a high for being there and because I wasn't tired :D

the Next morning I found out how real jet lag is! I had set my alarm for 8:30 so I could shower and all before chapel... yeah I didn't get up till 9:45ish haha and even then I was completely exhausted but Lizz made sure I was up(ty dear!) and showed me where Coffee break was and I had my first REAL cup of coffee(I can never go back) and some peach thing, which was amazing! then went to my first class where there was a grand total of 6 people including me and the prof (it's Spiritual Formation) and then Lunch(which was amazing) and then My other class (Church History 2) i came back to take a nap after that class kinda just laid there for about an hour then deiced to get up and study studied for a bit, made myself dinner, talked with My mom, and hung out for a bit. Jet lag was still brutal and by 1:30 am i was still up but yeah I think i was out before 2.
today was a bit better to be in a routine but still jet lag was a beast but i didn't nap so I will God willing be able to sleep tonight :D so yeah Classes are amazing people here are sooo VERY amazing and I love it!
ANY QUESTIONS? FEEL FREE TO ASK :"D